Parent Resources> Supporting your Student> A Parents' role in the Freshman Year

a parents' role in the freshman year

The freshmen year of college usually causes noticeable changes in parent/teen relationships. For the past 18 years you have done a good job being there to actively help your child through their crisis’s and problems even if they didn’t always appreciate it. For the majority of freshmen, the freedom college offers is a result of severing this active problem solving relationship with their parents. With this in mind you should expect to have less of a role in actively solving whatever dramas your teen might run into. But all of the above doesn’t mean your role as a parent suddenly stops, it just takes on a new form. You can expect late night phone calls, vague requests for money and probably a earful about roommates. Through all of them you need to understand that your role is no longer to solve all your teens’ problems, but instead to listen, advise and when necessary sympathize.

Here are some things every parent should be ready for during the freshman year:

“I can’t stand my roommate!”

Most American teens have never shared a room in their entire lives, yet college dorm rooms are still mainly doubles. I think that one of the major concerns of every incoming freshman is their roommate. Getting a good or bad one can honestly set the tone for the whole semester, especially during the first year. A bad roommate can sour the whole feel a student gets from a school, if things are especially bad they will have a negative effect on all aspects of college life. If you get a call from your teen concerning roommates it is important to make a distinction between a bad patch and a bad roommate. If you believe that your teen is suffering from a bad roommate then there are a couple proactive steps you can advise them to take.

• Remind them that quarters/semester go by very quickly and there will probably be a chance to move during the break.
• Suggest that now might be the time to start looking for a better roommate to move in with and to start collecting the proper paper work.
• It is fairly common for sophomores to move out after the first quarter/semester. Singles might become available and it is often on a first come first serve basis. Make sure your student investigates this option and gets their name on the list as soon as possible.

“8 A.M classes suck!”

From what I’ve seen and heard from friends, freshmen tend to be the last to register for their classes. This usually ends up meaning one thing, lots and lots of early morning classes! 8:00 o’clock classes can be especially difficult when combined with noisy dorms and roommates. I had mostly 8 o’clock classes my freshmen year and I often had to choose between getting 5 hours of sleep a night or going to class. I figured out early that skipping classes is devastating, especially when you have early recitations that can count for a huge portion of your grade. My solution was to take a nap at around 5 PM till 8PM, then have dinner with friends and hitting the books till 12 – around the same time the dorms would quiet down. If your student has lots of 8 AM classes I’d recommend getting them a bunch of little foam earplugs, they will dull the noise and hopefully allow your student to get a decent night sleep.

As a parent you need to instill in your student that attending class is vital to doing well in college. If you are paying out of state tuition you might calculate how much you are paying per class, quantifying each class in cold hard cash can show your student that you value their education and they should too. If the above don’t seem to be working then a coffee machine might do just the trick!

This list is constantly growing, so check back soon.

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