Gapyears> Semester in Patagonia

semester in patagonia

by Toren Johnson

    Have you ever felt like you are living a life that is not exactly yours, like you feel yourself slowly turning into a resume of jobs and extracurricular activities and not even knowing why? Maybe it's to pursue your acceptance to the perfect school or to simply please the parental units. But sooner or later what ever you were striving towards comes and goes, and everything you have worked for disappears. Shattering the illusion of success and gratification to point where you find yourself looking in the mirror of a stranger living out the motions of your mundane life. 

    I am not sure if this has ever happened to you, but for me everything changed one day prior to my graduation from high school. All of sudden this realization hit me that I was about to graduate and I couldn't seem to recall how or when those four years had come and gone. It seemed between school, sports, jobs and volunteering I had no time for myself. My life had slowly become the pursuit of making myself a stronger candidate for college acceptance and had completely erased my own personal needs. There is no better way of describe the emotions i possessed then from the lyrics of Tom Petty famous song You Don’t Know How It Feels, “I woke up in between a memory and a dream”. 

    When I vocalized my feelings to my parents, neither seemed to really understand. They explained that I was just uneasy because of graduation and that it would all pass “College would open many “doors” and a whole new culture of people and activities”. So I decided to try out the whole college experience, but the closer registration came the more anxiety I felt. I knew I didn’t need a new group of friends or simply a new place to learn…I needed a break. I needed time to be free and to do things simply for me. I know that sounds selfish, but everyone once in awhile deserves some time to ponder. To look inside themselves and know what it is they truly want. Unfortunately for me, I had been ignoring this necessity as long as I could remember. It was like all my efforts to be accepted as a qualified “college student” had strip away all the things I was truly passionate about. I had no idea who “I” was. I knew the only way to find out was to remove all the strings found in our society and live in utter simplicity, without anyone telling me who or what to be.  

That is why I deiced to apply for an Outward Bound course and in all honestly I couldn’t have dreamed for a better escape. The course I participated on was a 76 day-international course broken into 3 course areas including: The Outer Banks, NC; Appalachian Mountains, NC; and the Lake District of Chile. Each area introduced a new skill from sea kayaking, to climbing, to glacier travel and service projects. It was truly amazing how much the group was able to accomplish over the semester both physically and mentally. Honestly one of the greatest challenges is living with a small group of people for an extended period of time for 24 hours straight….and although there were definitely times were I wanted to break free from the group dynamic, by going through organization like Outward Bound, my parents were able to support my decision in a safe controlled environment. Plus, now that I have successfully completed the course I feel like I have grown into a stronger, more compassionate person towards others, nature and myself. The founder Kurt Hahn once said,

“Without self-discovery, a person may still have self-confidence, but it is a self-confidence built on ignorance, and it melts in the face of heavy burdens. Self-discovery is the end product of a great challenge mastered, when the mind commands the body to do the seemingly impossible, when strength and courage are summoned to extraordinary limits for the sake of something outside the self- a principle, an onerous task, another human life.”

 Overall Outward Bound opened so many doors. But, in hindsight it really doesn’t matter what program or organization one chooses, the most important aspect is simply doing something out of the ordinary, something that the heart yearns for. Of course different programs offer various credentials when completing the course, which can be important to note, but really what I learned the most from my time off, is simply making the decision in the first place. It seems that most people struggle with taking a break for various reasons. Sadly indecisive students let their anxiety of making the wrong choice prevent them from making a commitment at all. Besides, college is supposed to be a time to grow. It doesn’t need to be rushed through in four years. Allow yourself time to explore, to open your mind to all sorts of ideas and cultures, most of which can not be taught in an institution to begin with. So do your self a favor and take the chance, open your eyes to amazing opportunities right in front of you.

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